Supporting Loved Ones Through Seasons of Depression

Each year, October is recognized as Depression Awareness Month. According to the World Health Organization, approximately 280 million people in the world have depression. That being said, it’s likely you or someone you love has been affected. With the holidays right around the corner, this can be a time of year when depression is even more prevalent. Maybe you know someone who has lost a loved one, experienced division in their family, has seasonal depression or feels isolated and lonely. The holidays and change in season can stir up intense emotions that can be difficult to navigate in a healthy way. 

But here’s the good news, addressing depression is on the heart of our counselors, and most importantly, on the heart of God. 

Counselors at The Breaking Ground recently discussed a few practical strategies to support someone who is struggling with depression. We hope these are helpful to you as you come alongside those in your life who need love and care in this area. 

Don’t be a fixer, be a supporter

When someone we love is in pain, physically or mentally, it’s easy to go into fix-it mode. My husband is a pro at this. Before I even put words to what I am feeling, he often tries to think of something he can do, buy or say to make it all better. While this comes out of a good heart, it doesn’t always help the issue.

When someone you know is struggling with depression, the best thing you can do for them is support them. A great way to support them is by asking what you can do to be helpful. Sometimes individuals who are depressed don’t know what they need or even what they want, so offering choices is helpful. For example, after asking how you can support them, you could suggest praying for them, taking a walk with them, running an errand with them, etc. This helps them think through what they need, but also gives them a choice. 

Get back to the basics 

Individuals who are dealing with depression can often neglect their basic needs. Kindly encourage your loved one to do things to take care of their physical and mental well-being. Staying hydrated, eating fruits, vegetables, and protein and exercising are just a few of the many ways to care for oneself. 

As a reminder, someone struggling with depression needs small, bite-sized tasks, not an overwhelming list of unrealistic goals. For example, encourage your loved one to start off with a 10-minute walk per day as opposed to an hour. Set achievable goals that make a deposit into their wellness bank. 

Track cycles 

Documenting moods, hormonal cycles, behavioral patterns and events in daily routine can help identify patterns of depression. Thorough documentation can reveal times, situations and triggers that correlate with depression. This can remind someone that a bad day or week won’t last forever. Their negative thoughts and feelings could be caused by a physical or situational cycle that will come to an end. 

Offer to sit down with your loved one and document these kinds of cycles in a way that is helpful to them. Color coding, sketching or creating graphs can make the process more fun and add a helpful, visual element.

Replace the lie with truth 

We talk about this strategy a lot around The Breaking Ground because of how easy it is to believe lies. Latching on to an untrue thought is one of the many ways someone can become depressed. 

When your loved one is experiencing depression, ask them questions about their thoughts. What belief is making them feel down? Then, offer a thought that is based on truth, evidence or real-life experience to replace the lie. Having trouble finding a “truth replacement?” Scripture is full of truths about ourselves, the world and God that can correct our minds and lead us to peace. 

For example, if your loved one says they feel worthless, you can direct them to Psalm 139:13-14 which reads, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” 

Slow and steady 

Lastly, remind your loved one to take life minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. Working through depression is not a sprint, but rather a process that takes time. Looking too far ahead will only feel overwhelming. Focus on what’s in front of you and do the next right thing! 

If your next right thing is talking to a trusted counselor about depression, whether it’s personal or for a loved one, please visit https://www.thebreakingground.com/contact. We are here for you!